ship of beers
I have been thinking about a post about self, and the universe and the journey I’ve found myself on. But I think that’s a post for another time, because tonight something spectacular happened. I, for once, let myself get lost in the moment.
Ruby brought me a ticket to go see Frenzal Rhomb for my birthday. I avoid birthdays like the plague, and today I was in no mood for a punk show. Everything seemed messed up today, I got a phone call saying “thanks but no thanks” for a job I REALLY wanted, and then spent the next 2 hours of my life singing and dancing on a bus of toddlers, whilst cuddling a giant lion puppet. It was very much a “this is your life and its ending one minute at a time” kinda vibe (also, nobody should need to sing “I’m a Meerkat, not a pussycat” first thing in the morning to a bunch of small people).
So, needless to say, I was a bit flat and not really in the mood to go out. But I’m totally glad I did. Maybe it was skulling a Jameson as I came in the door, or maybe it was just the energy of a venue I generally avoid. But I truly felt like I had been transported back to being 16 and in a Frenzal Rhomb moshpit for the first time (although this time I kept my top). The new songs, whatever. But when they played those old songs I was transported back to 16 and what it felt like to get in a mosh pit and scream along to a band who have silly angry lyrics.
I must mention, I never go in mosh’s here in Australia. My normal position is somewhere near the mixing desk, chilling and enjoying the show, but always having half of the “this is a job” hat on. I find it hard to just forget everything else and just *be* (forgive me for the forays into universe talk, and just being. this is part of a post which I’m sure I will get around to).
I haven’t felt so energised in aeons. I honestly can’t remember the last time I got in a pit of any type in Australia. At SXSW, I’m more likely to (but I’m also more likely to be drunk). It was amazing for me to just forget the world, scream along to some old songs, and to a lesser extent reminisce about what it was that got me interested in the music industry in the first place. It was that feeling of being in that surge of people who are all there for the same reason and somehow get it. Being pushed over and helped up, being part of the seething mass of people and not caring whose sweat you’re covered in or if anyone thinks you’re a dickhead. This is what I miss.
I got home and the wind was blowing and the sky was clear and full of stars and for the first time in weeks, I felt 100% alive, like I can deal with any of the bullshit that is no doubt going to be thrown my way in upcoming weeks. Not getting the job didn’t matter, my confused headspace didn’t matter, derby dramas didn’t matter – everything felt like it had fallen into place and was going to be okay.
Lets just hope, when I wake up tomorrow that it all still feels like this.
